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ON TARGET! OR A SHOT IN THE DARK?
Copyright (c) 2005 by William Karl Thomas
The search for love is a lifelong one. Ask any parted lovers, widows, or widowers. In most cases, the better the connection we make, the longer the relationship. And in most cases, the more selective we are in making the connection, the better and more enduring it is. Selectivity makes the difference between taking a "shot in the dark," or being "on target."
When it comes to internet services that can help us make that "love connection," there are three types; the dating service that usually costs the least and provides referrals that may result in one night stands, the introduction service that usually costs a little more and provides referrals that may qualify for long term relationships, and the match making service that costs the most and hopes to provide a marriage partner. Obviously, the amount of information and time invested to make a match increases when the longer relationship is the objective. Naturally, the investment of more information and time on the part of the service, the greater the monetary investment required of the applicant. But the old adage is true here, "you get what you pay for."
Dating services, internet or otherwise, are sometimes free, and, if there is a charge, it is usually less than an introduction or match making service. Dating services are often initiated and funded by an individual seeking matches for themself. Some are created by a sincere individual or organization that attempts to pay for their website with pop-up ads, selling their client list to advertisers, or solicitations for "donations" or "contributions." Some are scams that say free, but have a credit card payment at the end of their application, or bill you later through the mail, then harass you hoping to wear you down or embarrass you into payment. The most realistic dating services charge a nominal fee. Their minimal fees do not allow them to conduct personal interviews or collect, process, and utilize extensive detailed information about each client in order to refine matches with a high degree of compatibility. In order to increase their numbers, they decrease the questions in their application, limiting the elements of compatibility to gender, age, race, religion, and very little more. They assume most people are not that critical about who they meet for a one night stand.
Legitimate introduction services must charge more in order to go beyond the limited parameters of a dating service and produce more compatible matches. They usually don’t pretend to serve all types of people in all geographical areas, concentrating on a single city or on a single professional or ethnic category of people, and they don’t pretend to make matches instantly, usually offering longer term memberships than dating services. Their fees start in the hundreds and can run in the thousands for annual memberships, and such fees should warrant a personal interview and detailed information in order to best serve their clients.
Not all introduction services are legitimate. Many prey on men offering an exotic ethnic category of women (Thai, oriental, Russian, etc.). These usually offer an illustrated "catalog" of beautiful women who are mostly, in their own country, bar girls, prostitutes, and sometimes even made up names attached to easily procured photos of local movie stars and entertainers. Their membership fees seem reasonably low ($20 to $100 a month) until you discover the multiple hidden fees for each woman’s address (usually $10) and additional personal information ($10) and response fee ($10) and on and on and on. Despite many internet articles warning of these sex traps, these so-called "introduction" services flourish and diminish the credibility of legitimate services.
D.A.W.N. (Differently Abled Winner’s Network) uses the term "Dating Service" in it’s advertising in order to reach more people, just as it uses the word "disabled," even though we prefer the term "differently abled," simply because more people use these words in internet searches (see my article "A Rose By Any Other Name" on the D.A.W.N. website). Yet, this service is an example of a legitimate true introduction or match making service (it has produced numerous marriages) that goes far beyond the limits of a dating service. D.A.W.N.’s special niche is being primarily, but not exclusively, for people with disabilities. It doesn’t just ask "are you disabled" (a typical single question on the subject in many dating and introduction services), but includes questions defining the special challenges of a persons disability and, equally important, their tolerance of other peoples disabilities. There are 56 questions in the D.A.W.N. application, and every paid applicant is personally interviewed by the director of the service, asked an additional 26 questions, and helped in creating a detailed and honest profile which is used to make referrals.
There is also the question of motivation. D.A.W.N. operates under a business license, but it was created by a person with a disability (see Wendy Wolf’s article "Birthday Blues or Birthday Bliss" on the D.A.W.N. website) and it charges only the minimal fees necessary to operate; postage, phone, printing, and advertising costs. It has NO salaried personnel and is staffed solely by volunteers. Even it’s Director, Wendy Wolf, is a volunteer. It’s office space and equipment are donated to help keep its fees minimal. D.A.W.N. is motivated to pay it’s bills, but not to make undue profits or exploit anyone.
In describing this service, two cases come to mind. One was a client brought to D.A.W.N. by another legitimate introduction/match making service, which shall remain nameless. They had accepted this man with a disability, charged him $3500 dollars, and had not been able to produce one single match for him in over a year. They paid his $189.95 annual D.A.W.N. fee and, within months, he had several referrals and, within a year, he got married through this service. The other was the case of the lady who didn’t join D.A.W.N. saying, "I had bypassed DAWN because I felt that they did not offer the ‘numbers’ to be a good value. It pays to pay a little more to meet fewer people but with personal attention, than to look at over 1,000 people locally but who are shallow." Read her entire testimonial on the D.A.W.N. website (http://www.dawn-disabled-dating.com). True, you get what you pay for, but, with D.A.W.N., you get a hell of a lot for what little you pay.
Anyone can take a "shot in the dark," throw a dart at a catalog page filled with beautiful foreign women, or meet a whole lot of "handsomes" that turn out to be "horrible." But, when it comes to the romantic interests of people with disabilities at the fairest prices humanly possible, D.A.W.N. is right on target.
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